From the Book ‘The School for Gods’

The first move on the path towards Integrity is to escape the tyranny of the first attention — the description of the world, the boundaries of the first education

“You have to see the whole movement of Life, apparently obscure and conflictual, as a marvelous single, unitary process.”  He brought me back His presence as we continued around towards Grosvenor Place.   “Religions, ideologies, sciences, arts, businesses, all the revolutions, wars, terrorism and crime, the endless human divisions, disorder, injustice and sorrow, seen from above are the various expressions of a single movement dictated by your inner unity. Seen from below, they appear as the atrocious and painful reflection of your fragmented Being.

It all depends upon you. When your vision brightens and intensifies, your outer reality can only express the same thing. Light, order, beauty and perfection are the inevitable creation of a world seen from above.”  I realized I was still floating in the vision of the man suspended between the tigers and freed myself…I envisioned myself awakening. The tigers, the root and the mouse all disappeared leaving me, however, not with the taste of the strawberry in my mouth, but with the bitterness of remorse and the lingering pain of what I considered to be my ‘real’ problems.

I agonized over what would be the necessary changes, already forgetting the moral of the story and its immediate solution.

A school bus of children pulled up to the curb.  An elderly man climbed down hanging on the door , turned, and began to motion the children to follow.  His blue jacket and cap seemed to christen him as the friendly conductor, and as he teetered from one foot to the other, the children smiled up at him as they filed out like ants towards the school gate and the awaiting principal.

I remembered as  if it were yesterday my childhood at Collegio Bianchi.  The sisters were so severe and unyielding.  I found myself wishing I’d had such a kind elderly bus driver- or even a bus for that matter.

Why had I never protested my fate in that institution?   Although my childhood had been a happy time for me, there were many things that seen in the light of the Dreamer’s presence, now felt very uncomfortable.  Just remembering the memorization of texts, the endless homework, the recitations, the days spent pouring over books whose language was even then obsolete, and of which I now remembered only the cover, filled me with indignation.

As I remembered the smell of mold and cafeteria lunches that wafted from the basement to the white-washed classrooms, The Dreamer continued laying out the rules of a new game.

The first move on the path towards Integrity is to escape the tyranny of the first attention — the description of the world, the boundaries of the first education…”  I knew He did not want to blame the world I grew up and lived in- but rather show me that my identification with it was the cause of all my ills.  For any man, I thought, it is nearly impossible to see that the reality that surrounds him is not objective, but subjective. The only way to do this was to strengthen a sense of the inner self…what He had called earlier self-remembering.

 “The magical transformation frees you from being a reactive object in the world of appearance to a proactive Being in the world of power — you must create an ever-strengthening link with your inner resources.”

Only the Dreamer, and I much later, noticed the punctuality of the words He now said with the arrival of the school bus.  How many times had I sat as a child in a classroom looking at the over-sized wall clock  anxious to do no more than go home.? How many times had I listened without observation – without filtering even a word of  what was said, but accepting everything and allowing myself to be overcome – filled like an empty glass with a substance I never craved.

How could any ordinary man realize this and become free, I wondered?  If I was responsible for my reality, then I could surely change it!

“If you focus on Now, time will no longer be linear but simultaneous — past, present and future will co-exist.”  He said reading my thoughts.

“In this frame of conscious awareness you create the New World — new types of light-based technologies, new ways of communication, new forms of community-living, new systems of government, new resources, new economy, new financial and educational systems. And all overwhelmed by joy, equality, harmony and beauty.”

So I can’t possibly be a victim suffering from any form of ‘education’ if not my own wrong way of seeing things…” I said thoughtfully.  He was telling me that the ‘damage’  of that experience I remembered now with such bitterness was not permanent.  “It all depends on me.”  I said aloud.

He stopped for a moment and pursed His lips – probably skeptical over the real value of that declaration I seemed to make from a place of ‘understanding’.  It was what I desperately wanted Him to believe.  Of course He saw through me and spoke to the fear that had generated my comment. As always His words came from, and were destined for the invisible.

“You are at the beck and call of  shadows whose names you do not even know.  The fear that preys on you hidden within the folds of your darkest disguises, and you do nothing to unclothe yourself and come into the light.  Self-deception is the finest garment for those who thrive on chaos – self-justification, blaming, fault-finding, accusing, jealousy, envy, and false pride are all faces of fear you so rarely admit…the greatest danger is not the fear within you, but your ignorance and even negation of it.

Life is all right here!  You need only capture a glimpse of it….feel it.  Remember yourself and see that the greatest giants become but insignificant puppets before you.  Anything menacing you in the world has had your consent to exist.  It is you who creates the world and you who destroys it.  If you are unaware of your own deadly schemes you will find only monsters outside yourself.